Its one of life's greatest miracles that all of us take life for granted... After all, what is life - is it a beating heart?, is it a functioning mind?, is it the human body with all its organs functioning...how does one know whether one is alive...? is it my skin which is warm to the touch..? is it my rising and falling chest? is it my moving arms and legs..
What is it...? and whatever it is, is it enough..? How does one live after a life has been lived..? how does one live after the entire life has not been lived up to expectations...? How does one go on when you know that it has been a wasted life...? A life that has been poured out into tall stained glasses from one bottle to the next, a li e that has been spent in hazy recollections, tormented minds, tortured hearts and living in the hallucinations of alcohol induced persecution... How does one live with the knowledge that my body is not what it used to be, my mind is mindless and my heart is heavy with the possibilities of what could have been and what most definitely is not and how does one live with the knowledge that I have been my own murderer.. I have murdered my own sensibilities, I have killed my brain, I have assaulted my senses, I have numbed my feelings and I have alienated love...
How therefore does one go on...? In the twilight of one's life, when I go on my mind's journey, the places I visit are filled with the pain, the longing, the losses and the anger of failures, shame, ridicule and all I see is darkness which is haunted by images whick keep playing and rewinding... playing and rewinding....They talk to me, the mindless chatter, the abominable noise.. endlessly...I struggle to continue my journey...where is my destination...I know not where I am.. therefore, whither will I go...
Do I even need to go...Do I even want to go....
Why do I even need to inhale...or even exhale...?
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